My cartoons ain’t got nuthin’ on this dude….

Happy New Year, kids.

-Corey “Fake Rockstar” Pandolph

Corey was lucky enough to be asked to produce the calendar for the January Bollard print edition. We liked it so much, we thought everyone should have one. So… We made prints! In the Fake Rockstar Shop! Here it is:

Functional as a calendar for one month, then useful as a fine wrapping for that stinky diaper and/or unused half sandwich. Get a hold of one now, only in the Fake Rockstar shop!

Make sure you check out The Bollard.com for great news, views and art from some of the most talented folks in the Greater Portland area.

Happy New Year, bacon banditos!

- The FRS Minions

What I lessons I will remember the next time I venture out into the Adirondack wilderness to procure my own Christmas Tree…

1. There’s a reason tree farms exist.

2. A 45 foot tree CAN be cut with a 14 inch hand saw, but really shouldn’t be.

3. Everything is smaller outside.

4. That perfect 7 foot Christmas tree atop that 45 foot monster is really 15 feet of sparse imperfection.

5. A lot of 45 foot trees split into three trunks near the top.

6. A 15 foot, tri-trunk tree weighs the same as Texas.

7. Walking backwards in snowshoes is suicide.

8. Your green plastic stand is no match for a Super Tri-Trunk Tannenbaum™.

9. No matter how much you struggle to stand your Tri-Trunk Godzilla, you will remain its bitch.

10. Trimming at this point is futile.

Merry Christmas, everybody! I’m going to go soak my body in suds and my liver in whisky.

The insane and talented… or insanely talented… Pab Sungenis of the New Adventures of Queen Victoria had a bad break recently when his Mother’s house burned to the ground. She lost everything, including her family pets. Speaking as fellow cartoonist, I can say that Moms are very important to our well being. I personally enjoy having one.

Pab has always been a supporter of my work and I’d be remiss if I didn’t help out. He has a donation page set up here: Pab’s Mom. A house fire is one the most devastating things that can happen to a person, so please, in the spirit of the Holidays… And in the spirit of being a human being, help Pab and his Mom out.

Thanks to you all in advance,

Corey