Oh, what will happen to Barkeater Lake? This is the question on the minds of so many of the tens of people in the Fake Rockstar universe these days. Truth be told, I don’t know… And I don’t think any of us should know. The last ten years have been a wild ride for Banks and his merry gang of small-town residents. Fires, love, betrayal, Baconapaloozastock, a meteor sent by Satan…

Were these all good ideas? YES. Every single idea a cartoonist of my caliber has is a GREAT idea. We are creative geniuses with the ability to draw and erase ourselves out of any situation. I used to be a short, rash-ridden loser with dirty underwear and a drinking problem. And now? I possess the ability to WASH my undergarments. Coincidence? No, genius. Real pork-fried GENIUS, my friends.

I ask all of you, nay, I INSTRUCT all of you to remember this genius when addressing the Barkeater Lake cunnundrum. The crazy story lines, the full color, the destruction of the 4th wall and sporadic updates are all merely an avenue to BLOW YOU ALL OUT OF THE WATER. There are those who claim I’ve lost it, that this comics strip somehow reflects my own life and the struggles within it… To which I respond, “Struggles? I just two-putted a par six, while groping Jennifer Connelly and downing a Jack and Coke. I ain’t got no struggles, bitch.” See, what you all need to understand is that I have a plan… And more importantly, I’m not you, so I’ll always have that going for me.

That should answer all your questions. I look forward to your continued worship.

Yours in continued Pontificational Ridicularity™,

FRS