I said I’d never do a Comic Con and I meant it. Of course, I say a lot of things I think I mean. I said I’d never let myself gain enough weight that people would notice… I said I’d never draw for no money…
Really, I am against the idea of these gatherings of people who wouldn’t leave their basements otherwise. However, these are tough times and you do what you gotta do to survive.
MECAF (Maine Comics and Agoraphobics Festival) was a one day event, situated on the waterfront in lovely, rain-soaked Portland, ME. The venue was quite nice, actually - complete with a view of the harbor, directly below the flight path of every commuter flight from NYC and Boston… Flights that I would later beg to crash into our quite nice venue.
Now look… Before I go any further, I know I’m in the minority by hating these events. I know a lot of you depend on them for income, friendship and the exchange of skin treatments. So if you comment or email, keep that in mind. I already know that you think I suck.
ANYWAY, I agreed to attend MECAF under the assumption that I would participate in a panel about newspaper comics. Just saying those words makes me bleed through my eyeballs, so I recruited (dragged) two other cartoonists to help me out, Lincoln “Big Nate” Peirce and Norm “Gill and Retail” Feuti.
We were told (at least Norm and I were) to be at the venue for an 8am set up. Apparently Lincoln “I sell lotsa books” Peirce has his own time table, allowing him to roll in at a respectable 9:30. As it turns out, he was the smart one, as it took Norm and me about 2 minutes total to “set up”, leaving us 90 minutes to talk about reasons we regretted the day already. What transpired next is too boring to tell. The three of us basically sat there, for over 7 hours, staring at the underwhelmed public as they fingered through all of our wares, thumbing their nose at my stuff, showing a bit of interest in Norm’s work and drooling relentlessly over Lincoln and his golden comics of truth, chocolate and a possible cure for cancer.
There were some moments, though… Like the short and round pleather-covered cat girl. There were also the kids with parents too cheap to buy them our stuff, and the kids who had a romper room session with our comics on the floor in front of our table. I did sell a couple of books and was the recipient of this little gem of a moment:
Scene: Mom and kid at our table. They just bought a ‘Big Nate’ book (big surprise) and the kid moves on to a Barkeater Lake book.
Mom (to kid reading my book): Do you know that comic?
Kid: No.
Mom: Well get away from it then.
We did go through with our forum “How to survive in print comics”, or whatever we called it. It basically devolved into a pissing match over who had the worst syndicate story ever. Norm broke Lincoln’s jaw and our moderator Mike Lynch may never walk again, but all in all, it was a good talk with a nice turn out - not including law enforcement.
The turning point of the day, however, came way late into the show. I was begging someone to bring in a case of beer, I hadn’t sold a thing in hours and Lincoln was counting his millions in front of me… AND I SWORE I WOULD NEVER DO ANOTHER COMIC CON AGAIN, WHEN…
Leopard Man arrived.
He (it took several minutes to confirm the gender) was dressed head to toe in a leopard unitard (favorite word) and a sheer red cape with a portable music player strapped to his ‘utility belt’. He was sent form God, Satan and The Kids in the Hall all at once. Leopard man proceeded to float through the room, cape in hand, without saying a word. He bought a couple comics and shook a few hands. And then…
He danced.
I’m a changed man. I look forward to many more Comic Con Leopard Man sightings in the months ahead. I will bring my camera, if you promise to bring your lunatic fringe, Leopard Man.
