In San Diego! Rented a convertible Mustang, but had to settle for a purple Ford Focus. Fake Rockstar is in the house, California!

Hotel stored my merchandise in a closet next to a Christian Retreat. Because of a “mix up”, I now have to sell 2000 shirts that read “Prayer is the original social media”. On the flip side, there are 2000 bible thumpers wearing “TOBY, Robot Satan” shirts, somewhere in Southern California.

Started the show by handing out boxes of free candy to first visitors to my table. Found out quickly that candy from an angry-eyebrowed stranger is a good way to destroy any future sales. Seriously, you’re 40 years old. Grow a spine and trust someone… I don’t care how loud your mother yells at you.

The following people owe me for bad checks: Chewbacca, Darth Vader, 3 unnamed Blood Elfs and Lucas Turnbloom.

Judging by the physical make-up of disinterested passers-by, I should be selling candy-coated tacos dipped in lard, instead of comics and t-shirts. Where’s Morgan Spurlock, when you need him? Oh, he’s right over there, at the “30 days as a print cartoonist” booth! He looks tired… And hungry.

Six girls dressed as Supergirl just rounded the corner to find six men dressed as Supergirl. Surely, a rift in the threads of time and space can’t be far behind.

“No, I’m not Benecio Del Toro.”

I’ll say it again… When is someone gonna have the brass pearls to show up as Magilla and Mr. Peebles? Can I get a Grape Ape in the house, nerds?

Something just exploded behind me. It was either the Stars Wars video game, a pipe bomb or someone mentioned the webcomics/print comics debate to Scott Kurtz. Either way, I’m under the table until lunch.

“Hey! Richard Thompson! Over here! It’s Core… Oh, I see. Sure, you have a reputation and all… What’s that? 50 feet? Sure, sure… I can stand way over here.”

Time for lunch. I’ve never wanted to eat healthy food more in my life. Maybe I’ll just jog to LA and forgo the food altogether.

Got back from lunch to find the Christian shirts gone and my TOBY shirts returned, along with a note: “These caused three heart attacks and two fainting spells. Fr. Drury may never walk again. God hates you.” Well, duh.

Got kicked out of the GoComics booth for a third time.

Last day of this clusterf%$k, then I get to pack up all but the three books I sold (gave away). I miss the East Coast and my uptight friends. Oh look, another medic and another passed-out Klingon… Sigh…

Waiting for connection in Atlanta airport. Just signed 15 autographs. 14 for Benecio Del Toro and one for “The Brawny Guy”. Maybe I’ll get lucky the plane will crash into Benecio Del Toro.

End of entries.