Hey folks!

Are you enjoying the recent abundant Ridicularity™ provided by Fake Rockstar conglomocorp? If so, why not tell your friends, enemies and future stalkers? It’s easy!

How easy is it to turn folks on to Fake Rockstar way, you may ask? As luck would have it, there are several methods, utilizing today’s modern interweb:

1. A slap to to the back of the head.
2. Email.
3. Click the “Stumble This” icon and add us to the Stumble Upon database.
4. A second slap to the back of the head.

As always, we here at FRS Conglomocorp appreciate your patronage and hope that you’ll return again to laugh… And laugh… And laugh.

This had been an Official Fake Rockstar, LLC Pontificational Ridicularity™ transmission, legal in 29 of 50 states.

Since taking on the full time role of resident Fake Rockstar over the last few months, I’ve learned some interesting things about myself. Allow me to share…

1. No matter how hard I try to keep a schedule, procrastination continues to make me her bitch. That’s right, procrastination is a female. Deal with it.

2. Not showering for days and not doing laundry for weeks as an adult is much less fun than it was in college.

3. I’m much more productive between the hours of 9pm and 3am.

4. If I stay up working until 3am, I can physically feel my hair and imaginary bugs crawl all over my skin – I call them “Twinklepricks”.

5. Just the right amount of cowboy bourbon whisky actually keeps me awake.

6. Too much cowboy bourbon whisky makes me write things like “Pontificational Ridicularity”.

7. It is possible to write and draw 4 separate comic strips, but not recommended.

8. If I continue to write and draw 4 comic strips, 2 daily, one 5 days a week and one 2 days a week, for one year, I will have drawn and written 1008 comics strips.

9. Eating makes me fat.

10. Listening to the The National at 3am makes me cry.

FYI, bitches.

-FRS

Received this afternoon:

Oi, Hohe hoholulu

I was then on a flying visit to black rock. At the sunlight.
had any one observed the result and yet his voice when spoke
was completely natural for an adult. The sulphates of zinc
or copper be applied to me. I shall be probably hung in
a moment, watching, unobserved himself. Two women back to
him. There was the old magnolia tree. Specimen from each
contributor, from a shocking old gentleman, who had been,
in his own estimation, it was just right. Not too large.
a bit oldfashioned, a noise with very little resemblance
in it to get the software, get a feed, youre on). Europes
she is supposed to be standing. Then she fires hour was
over when the dear john’s telegram came, in the happiness
he had bestowed. The casements.

And then a link for hair growth formula at the end. Happy Friday to me!

I guess folks figure I don’t have enough bacon in my life, so they send me bizarre and beautiful uses for nature’s true fruit. I always have the best intentions to include them in blogs, comic strips and emails, but something usually comes up and I forget.

Anyway, I got a couple of good ones today, so I thought I’d take the time to share…

My good friend and drummer for the incredibly cool The Party Faithful, Paul Frick sent me this unbelievably simple recipe for bacon-flavored vodka. I’m not really a vodka man–I prefer the cowboy ways of whisky– But I have to try and make this. Simply wonderful. And you know I’m garnishing my bacon martini with a thick strip of cured pork goodness…

What do you suppose a dirty bacon martini would be? You leave some of the grease?

AND! My friend, former and hopefully future editor, Ned Ehrbar sent me a page with a recipe for assembling bacon bowls… To fill with what? Whatever the Hell you want! You just made a bowl from bacon.

Simply glorious, guys. A million greasy thanks.

FRS

So I’m sick. Again. I feel like I’ve been sick all winter. This bit of ill is particularly bad because it involves a fever. And because I’m a creative nutjob, I hallucinate when I get a bad fever. I remember being really young with a scorching forehead and telling my Dad my neck was on backwards and I could see fried chickens in Dixie cups, flying over a barn.

And people wonder where I get ideas for comics.

So last night I had this fever… I was warm, but had the chills. About halfway through the night, I woke to the sound of rushing water. We were having a really bad ice storm, so this made sense. Until I looked down to see water flowing around our second floor bedroom, rapidly filling the room and washing down the stairs. I sprang to life and woke the wife and dogs. “Everyone out! There’s water everywhere!”, I exclaimed.  I was going for my boots and rain gear when the light came on the water disappeared.

So the wife gets me back into bed… We laugh a tired laugh and I try to get some sleep. About an hour later, I woke myself up because I was waving my hands in the air. It seems I was playing Tetris with the huge imaginary Andes’ thin mints I saw floating in the air.

Welcome to hallucination central. Please distinguish all cigarettes, place you trays in an upright position and prepare your brain for anything and everything.

So now, I’m off to bed, once again. Maybe tonight I’ll get to play Monopoly, on an aircraft carrier with Jennifer Connelly and Sheryl Crow. Although, with my luck it’ll be with Dr. Phil and Rachael Ray.

Nothing good ever happens to me.

This is about the funniest thing I’ve ever seen. More, I want more… Do Indiana Jones or Back to the Future. Pure awesomeness.

Today is a great birthday. Today is Ernie Banks’ birthday. Part of the desegregation of the game when he made his debut in 1953, he is known as one of the nicest men in baseball. His career batting average was .274 and he hit a career high of .313 in 1958. His last season was in 1971 and he was inducted into the Hall of Fame in 1977.

Ernie Banks is my favorite player in baseball and is where Banks in Barkeater Lake got his name. His enthusiasm and love for game, coupled with his ability to persevere through adversity made him the player’s player. Ernie is why I love baseball and why I think baseball will continue to thrive, even in these troubled times.

We could all learn a lot from Ernie Banks, I think.

Happy Birthday, Mr. Cub.

Sabrina Tanzini running for mayor of Barkeater Lake is like Dr. Phil running for President… There will be blood and revolution. Do you think Dr. Phil’s campaign slogan would be “Dr. Phil: A changing day in yer life” or “Dr. Phil: That Dog Won’t Hunt.”

ANYWAY… I’m not sure where the whole thing will end up, but I bet a certain anthrpromorphic canine steps in to right a near certain wrong… Or maybe this is Delores’ time to finally stand up and take control of her Mother?

We’ll have to see. I’m just as curious is as the three of you are.

Cheers and beers,

FRS